Simplifying Christmas to Combat the Mental Load

The holiday season started when Ber-Months hit, but Christmas is different. While it's time for joy, it can also feel overwhelming. With all the shopping, parties, gift-wrapping, and big family dinners, the joy of Christmas can quickly get buried under the stress of trying to make everything perfect. Many people feel pressure to create a flawless holiday experience, often neglecting their own well-being in the process.

This year, let’s change things up. Instead of aiming for perfection, let’s focus on simplifying Christmas. The best gift you can offer your family is a calm, happy version of yourself. 

The Heavy Burden During the Holidays

When Holidays arrive, expectations seem to skyrocket everywhere. You’re not just celebrating; you’re planning everything like the Manager of Christmas, from budget, food, gifts and etc. The feeling of having to manage every detail puts a lot of weight on just one person, leading to stress and exhaustion, to the point where we call it the mental load. This is especially true if you’re trying to be the ideal host, shopper, baker, and peacemaker all at once. That’s why taking care of yourself this time of the year is crucial; it’s about setting boundaries in place. This is true mom self-care.

Ways you can lighten your Load

Simplifying Christmas doesn’t mean giving up joy; it means making space for it. Here are some straightforward ideas to help reduce your stress:

Learn to Say "No" to Extra Events

This can be the toughest but most important step. If attending another holiday event is making you anxious or keeping you up at night, it’s perfectly okay to skip it.

• Check Your Schedule: Look at what you’ve committed to. Which events make you feel happy? Which ones feel like a chore? It’s alright to decline the ones that don’t bring you joy.
• Just Say No: You don’t need to explain yourself in detail. A simple, “Thank you for the invite, but we can't make it this year,” is sufficient. Your family will appreciate having that time back much more than attending every event. Setting boundaries is an act of love for yourself. Life coach Lindsay says that if something doesn’t feel right, it’s best to kindly decline and avoid taking on something that could lead to stress and regret.

Ease Up on Gift-Giving 

Gift-related stress can greatly add to your mental load. Remember, you don’t have to buy gifts for everyone you know!

• The Four-Gift Rule: For kids, consider giving just one gift in each of these categories: something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. This helps cut down on both shopping and clutter. According to Good Housekeeping, the gift itself becomes more important than the excitement of unwrapping it.  
• Try Experiences: For adults, instead of giving physical gifts, why not swap them for fun experiences? Think family outings or activities that everyone can enjoy together! This way, you’ll be focusing on making wonderful memories instead of just exchanging things.

Share the Responsibilities for Dinner and Decorations

You don’t have to handle it all by yourself. It's okay to ask for help and share the workload with others. Collaborating can make your responsibilities lighter and help you complete projects more efficiently. Working together also allows for new ideas and strengthens teamwork.

• Embrace the "Good-Enough" Meal: Let go of the need for an idealized, magazine-perfect dinner. Focus on one or two main dishes and simplify the rest; letting guests bring sides (potluck-style) or buying pre-made items reduces prep stress immensely. As experts advise, replacing the pressure to have a "perfect holiday" with a "good-enough holiday" is crucial for your mental health. Read more on the Five Steps to Mental Health and a "Good-Enough" Holiday.
• Embrace Imperfection: You don’t need picture-perfect decorations. Let the kids hang the ornaments, even if they don’t look perfect.

Why Simplifying Matters for Your Well-Being

When you focus on simplifying Christmas and stick to setting boundaries, you create mental space to enjoy your family and friends.

By intentionally reducing your obligations, you foster greater gratitude for the traditions you choose to maintain, replacing stress with appreciation. UC Davis Health notes that when we're stressed, we need to ensure we are coping in the best ways possible.

If holiday stress is high, remember that your health comes first. Focus on what brings you peace, as prioritizing yourself is the real essence of mom self-care. Remember to set realistic expectations and pace yourself to beat holiday stress. If you are juggling extra stressors, read our essential guide on How to Manage Holiday Stress and Overwhelm as a New Mother. 

This season, consider giving yourself the gift of simplicity. Your overall well-being, your family, and your peace of mind will benefit. 

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